fucking awesome had the most greatest fone conversation had to mankind with a friend id have had in a long time, i was on the fone for like atleast 3 1/2 hours with, i was on the fone with Lisa. dude i was fucking nerveous. you know Lj drama it happens to the best of us, but was never meant to happen to me. for the life of me could not get this e-mail to work. so i got enough balls to call her, because to my knowledge we werent talking very nicely for a while to come. well i called her, had her not talk to let me get the stuff off my chest from last nite, to know, from like fucking 3 years ago. i let everything out. and that took like 20 minutes. and then the rest was talking about anything, anyone and everything and everyone...mostly love that was there, love that has always been there, love that shouldnt be there, and love that will come.Dude my fucking grandma was right when she said you learn something everyday. i learned today that when you connect, form a bond with somoene you can not talk for several years (did it, Lisa and Niki), if there is a bond, things can go back to as comfortable as they were before, if not more. look at now im living wiht niki.
Ive also learned that Love love is a tricky, but wonderful thing,when i find love true, meaningful, i love you, you love me back love, i dont want to live for them, i dont want to live because of them, i want to live with them. im not talking about sharing a bed or sharing a house, im talking about living our own lives but sharing them. having friends but sharing them as well...not meaning his friends are mine and those are my only friends but we both contribute, we both bring friends. and my friends are great. its Like Adam and Niki. i dont want to base my relationship to come on anyone elses but on that aspect i do. Adams best friend, over all the time, we talk and he has conversations with me, and more than me (because the earth doesnt revolve around me) but Niki he talks to her, me being Nikis best friend I talk to Adam. is it like her past relationships were i talk to them but only when shes in the room and only about her, and stuff no. its not like that. its so weird. see thinking about it my dream relationship would be a person that has atleast one quality from all my friends, and have one quality from my friends best relationship. the friends factor with Nikis and Adams and the comfort factor with someone elses *AHEM*.
relationships in general...ive learned people grow up, but the most important friendships you keep are the ones that can survive the growing. my beliefs are nobody stops growin mentality wise....theres always something new to learn. Frienships, the good ones fight, they always do, but thats because slowly people grow up, and the good friends fight and argue, but thats because there are bumps in the road like people adjusting for them selves, and frienships adjusting into the changes the other person has gone through. those are my friends. im an adjuster.
oh and fucking guess what, Lisa is gonna spend a day with me, Lisa and Jake day. I wanna meet the someone shes getting close to and she wants to meet the dave that i talk so highly of, she might take me to go see him this week, excited. and before that, no matter what dave or not, (which hope dave), she said we'd have some "time" for us. i wanna talk to her face to face, this sounds weird but i hope i cry. anyways, i just dont want to meet our close people on the same day, way to weird. already gotta fucking go. peace out...!
OK so i fucked up, wanted to do something really sweet...i wanted to call Chantal after Midnite, her fucking birthdays today. umm butt i ws on the the fone with Lisa until 3 am. im not calling her this late because she has things to do during her day. but umm its her birthday. im making sure i call her because i love her. but i wanted to be the first. i know im not be the first to comment in her e-mail, and i problee wont be the first to call her, but ill be the first to write her in an entry on the day...beat that fucker!